MIEL PAEK recalls Nan Goldin: This Will Not End Well, a recent exhibition at the Stedelijk Museum in Amsterdam.
“It’s commonly said that this book is about “marginalised” people. We were never marginalised. We were the world. We were our own world, and we could have cared less about what ‘straight’ people thought of us. I made my people into superstars, and the Ballad maintains their legacy.”
At the end of November, I had the pleasure of viewing Nan Goldin’s work at the Stedelijk Museum in Amsterdam. The exhibition, curated by Fredrik Liek and presented in the Stedelijk by Vincent van Velsen, transformed the gallery into something of a dark cave. The immersive environment served as an invitation into Nan Goldin’s world, enveloping the viewer in an intimate space where the boundaries between observer and observed blurred. The space seemed akin to a dark room, each photograph illuminated, unfolding into what felt like a revelation, slowly materialising from the shadows of the underground world Goldin so vividly captured. It was like watching memories and moments in time being developed and fixed onto paper, right before our eyes. Describing it herself as “the diary [she] let people read”, the artist curated an evocative soundscape to accompany her images, deepening the emotional weight of her work. Her meticulous choice of music complemented the themes and visuals of her films, creating a layered experience. Take, for instance, “Miss the girl” by The Creatures, featuring the lyrics “You didn’t miss the girl, you hit the girl / You hit her with a force of steel”, which played behind images of bruised and injured women, shortly followed by “She Hits Back” by Yoko Ono, juxtaposing images of armed women, reclaiming their strength.
Nan Goldin’s The Ballad of Sexual Dependency is a seminal work in contemporary photography, commemorating the lived experiences of her social circle. Not only autobiographical, but indeed deeply personal, it features the artist and her friends in moments of vulnerability, intimacy, in the throes of addiction and sex work. The photographs, candid and unflinching, offer a visceral glimpse into the lives of those who occupy the fringes of society, challenging conventional perceptions of lifestyle, beauty, and relationships. The artist asserts that her subjects were never marginalised, but simply lived in their own world, which testifies to the strong sense of identity and community among those she photographed. She saw beauty and significance in lives overlooked or stigmatised by mainstream society. Her work elevates her subjects to a status of “superstars”, not in the traditional sense of fame and glamour, but through their authenticity and raw humanity.
Themes of sex work and drug addiction, especially in the context of the opiate crisis, are central to Goldin’s narrative. She reveals how her own sex work funded the art she made, interweaving personal footage, intimate portraits, and unvarnished moments from her life in the film. By doing so, she exposes how the income from her work on the margins of society directly funded her creative pursuits. She doesn’t shy away from the complexities of these experiences, highlighting both their allure and harmful aspects, describing them as both “seductive and destructive”. Her work compels the viewer to confront these realities without judgement or sensationalism, offering a humanising perspective that is often absent from mainstream discourse.
Goldin’s fear of voyeurism in her work is understandable, given the intimate and socially controversial nature of her subjects. There’s a fine line between representation and exploitation, a line that Goldin navigates with a deep sense of empathy. Her approach is less about observing from a distance, and more about immersing herself in the experience, reflected in the closeness and clear familiarity between her subjects.
“When I was a kid I thought, What a waste if I don’t leave a mark on the world. Through the Ballad I found a way to make a mark.” Through her film, she depicts not just a photographic series, but a powerful social document that has influenced the fields of photography, art, and social commentary. It emplores viewers to reconsider their biases, offering a profound, unvarnished insight into a segment of society often ignored or misunderstood. Through her lens, Goldin has indeed made a significant mark, preserving the legacy of her community and offering a crucial perspective on issues that continue to resonate.
Featured Image: Nan Goldin, Misty and Jimmy Paulette in a taxi, NYC, 1991. Courtesy of the artist and Stedelijk Museum.
